Colored pencil, March 31, 2004
In 2004, I went on regular personal retreats alone to the Wilderness Fellowship, bringing my art stuff along. I repeatedly drew nature in various seasons.
If I remember correctly, the piece above was done the day I went for a nature walk upon arriving and I was struck by the ugliness of early spring- everything brown and grey, everything laid bare- no snow or leaves to hide anything. And as I walked I was struck by the subtle colors and textures and began picking up rocks, pine cones, sticks, moss, grass, seed pods, anything that caught my eye. I made a collage on a earthenware plate and then when I left I arranged everything on a stump, returning it to the earth. Embracing the beauty in ugly seasons and honoring the ever-changing and ephemeral nature of life were important lessons. I remember the moments.
The piece below commemorates a walk I took in which I grieved, tears running down my face, chest aflame. As I began grieving and remembering deaths and losses, I realized that I needed an action, a ritual- one that would allow me an expression process and which would not disrupt the natural beauty. So, I picked up a long stick, spoke a name or event and propped it between two branches, creating a cross, a marker of loss and death. After standing in honor, I would walk on a few steps, pick up a new branch, speak a name, and mark the death with a cross- again and again- knowing that the branches would eventually fall down and the commemoration would lie within me alone. But for that day, the trees bore my losses.
craypas, April 1, 2004
Klawitter Cabin
And then everything leafed! I drove down the road through a tunnel of green with my mouth hanging open and tears running down my face at the glorious beauty. Unexpected transformation. Like graduating in life.
Graduation Green
craypas, June 9, 2004
BO Cabin