Assorted fabric, embroidery floss, fabric spray paint, fabric marker
2001-2011
This quilt commemorates people who helped me on my healing journey. I made the black side the winter I turned 30 and finished the purple side the winter I turned 40.
The shapes represent healing places and the hands are tracings of people who helped me on my healing journey.
Special thanks go to Sheila. Without her, this quilt would have remained a sketch. She took me shopping for all the supplies, talked over the design with me, and sewed for an entire day for me.
Sandy Nielsen, Tim Reisdorf, MOMS Co-op (now City Center Market)
Sandy was my first connection into health, bringing me into her kitchen, and talking with me about cooking with allergy alternative foods. She introduced me to many of the others including MOMS Co-op which lead to Beth Ranum and the Healing Circle which lead to Lucia, Sara, Amrit Devgun, and the Optimal Health Zone. Sandy, thank you for being adventuresome and generous. When I was so sick, you were the first to come and guide me to many good things.
Tim has been my faithful companion through this entire process. Early on, I remember calling Tim from the chiropractor's office, needing some expensive supplement, and despite our very limited resources, he told me to go for it. I said to the people there as I hung up, "I wish a man as kind as this on everyone!" One woman responded by giving me a bookmark I carried in my purse for years which says, Teach only love for that is what you are. After nearly two decades together, I'd still wish you on everyone which is an even better wish since you're a kinder man.
MOMS Co-op was my first co-op. I remember clearly the first time I walked in. I stopped inside the door, looked at the bulk bins, and thought, "Great. Now I've joined the nuts and the flakes." Change came hard and I knew so little. I scooped from my first bulk bin there, drank my first cup of tea there, attended my first cooking classes there, picked up my first CSA there, worked there, and bought my first purchase for my first child there. Thank you for your kindness, passion, and caring for me. It changed my life.
Tim has been my faithful companion through this entire process. Early on, I remember calling Tim from the chiropractor's office, needing some expensive supplement, and despite our very limited resources, he told me to go for it. I said to the people there as I hung up, "I wish a man as kind as this on everyone!" One woman responded by giving me a bookmark I carried in my purse for years which says, Teach only love for that is what you are. After nearly two decades together, I'd still wish you on everyone which is an even better wish since you're a kinder man.
MOMS Co-op was my first co-op. I remember clearly the first time I walked in. I stopped inside the door, looked at the bulk bins, and thought, "Great. Now I've joined the nuts and the flakes." Change came hard and I knew so little. I scooped from my first bulk bin there, drank my first cup of tea there, attended my first cooking classes there, picked up my first CSA there, worked there, and bought my first purchase for my first child there. Thank you for your kindness, passion, and caring for me. It changed my life.
Laura Fabian, Lucia Lein, Wedge Co-op
Laura was a dear friend to me, a true swan in a world of ducks, wise and compassionate. Every Sunday morning for years we spoke by phone for hours. We did art together and she had art supplies on her kitchen table and her pieces hung everywhere in her home. Thank you for sharing your stories, loving me, and choosing yourself.
Lucia was my chiropractor for about seven years, first at the Healing Circle and then at the Optimal Health Zone. She taught me so much about trusting myself and my body and I always left her feeling better. She introduced me to other healing people including Sara, Leif, Amrit Devgun, and Ginger. Thank you for your kindness, gentleness, and passion in action to help.
The Wedge was my second co-op and is a huge contributor to our quality of life. Minneapolis can be crowded and anonymous and cold but everyone who works here smiles. When I saw dads pushing little kids in full carts out to their cars chatting and smiling with each other, I knew this was my place. The people at the Wedge swap jokes with my kids. They refer to my kids as the "Happy Hearts" because red licorice "happy" hearts were the sample my kids asked for every visit. My kids pick particular check out lines so they can be close to their special friends, the cashiers and baggers. The Wedge has great values and lives consistently with them, providing me opportunities to live them out better and better, too. Your integrity, excellence, and goodness make me a better person.
Optimal Health Zone, Sara Jerpseth, Amrit Devgun
The Optimal Health Zone was Lucia's office. It was a place of calm, an easy place to relax, take off my shoes, and have interesting conversations. I am grateful for the peace during a difficult season.
Sara was my friend. We rode together to the Optimal Health Zone and had many conversations about healing and change and suffering and growth. She had a number of interesting friends and we spent many Sundays visiting various churches and other places of worship and going out for lunch and conversation afterwards. As members of Book Club we shared a number of significant discussions together which helped me grow up. Thank you Sara for your open-heartedness, honesty, strengthening conversations, and your knack for befriending interesting people.
Amrit Devgun was my naturopathic doctor. Great listener, thorough, and pulled no punches, assigning me a number of tough lifestyle changes. She also kept her passion fresh by setting boundaries which kept people in crisis from turning her life into a crisis. She moved from the Healing Circle to Woodwinds Health Campus, leading the charge in cooperation between traditional and alternative medicine. Thank you for understanding, for giving tough advice, and for caring.
Sara was my friend. We rode together to the Optimal Health Zone and had many conversations about healing and change and suffering and growth. She had a number of interesting friends and we spent many Sundays visiting various churches and other places of worship and going out for lunch and conversation afterwards. As members of Book Club we shared a number of significant discussions together which helped me grow up. Thank you Sara for your open-heartedness, honesty, strengthening conversations, and your knack for befriending interesting people.
Amrit Devgun was my naturopathic doctor. Great listener, thorough, and pulled no punches, assigning me a number of tough lifestyle changes. She also kept her passion fresh by setting boundaries which kept people in crisis from turning her life into a crisis. She moved from the Healing Circle to Woodwinds Health Campus, leading the charge in cooperation between traditional and alternative medicine. Thank you for understanding, for giving tough advice, and for caring.
The Healing Circle, Beth Ranum, Sheila Cina
The Healing Circle was a group of alternative medicine practitioners who shared a modest building near Selby and Dale in St Paul. I had so many firsts experiences here from naturopathy to acupuncture and everyone was kind. Kit was fond of me. Amrit understood. Lucia helped. Susan taught me about making changes until the teeter-totter tips to health. Judith got me into essential oils. Sue J helped me prioritize my marriage. Mike asked me Chinese medicine personal history questions which broadened my horizons. Thank you for your kindness and for knowing me as a person, not an illness. You started me on a good and happy path and I thank you.
Beth greeted me the first time I entered a co-op. I was disgruntled with a list of strange ingredients in hand and she patiently spent over an hour with me teaching me how to find things. Over time she taught me to cook healthy food in her cooking classes, shared her passion for local foods and farming, and prevented me from viewing change as overwhelming drudgery by teaching me the skills I needed to succeed. One line of hers I especially remember is, "If the bugs won't eat it, why would you?" Thank you for gently welcoming me into a whole new world of adventure and delights.
Sheila is my longest friend- ever since we were 12. I could gush on and on but I'll try to limit my comments to healing. She took cooking classes with me and then actually cooked great healthy food. She helped me make this quilt to remember. She got me started on my Y walking tradition as well as my retreat tradition. She found my best CSA ever. She believed in my good future when I could only see the painful past. She took a pottery class with me every week for a summer. She's game for anything. I tell people, "Everybody needs a Sheila." Because I'm Minnesota nice, I refrain from adding, "Hah-hah, I've already got the best one!" but I'm thinking it.
The flowers represent God's Healing Garden which was a powerful image given to me while grieving my brother and walking laps at the Y. The hand outlines were inspired by photos I saw somewhere of a wall in which an unnamed community blew paint over their hands, leaving negative handprints. This is not exactly the image I saw but it's the same idea. I have recently blogged about these folks' grace in my life.
Vicki Degner, Shannon Staiger, Emily White Hodge
Pastor Vicki was my mentor and spiritual adviser during my time at Open Door Church. She asks the best questions and her laugh is absolute delight. She led me into a kinder, happier way of being. She's an incredible presence with those who suffer. Plus she's crazy fond of me. I wish I could know you better as I find you fascinating and yet I am deeply satisfied, too.
Shannon has been my counselor for over a decade. She connected me with many of the other people on this quilt- Vicki, Peggy, Maureen, Mary, and Pam, Emily, Jen, and Linda. So much of my healing has flowed through her and her sturdy goodness and faithfulness. I was never an easy or conventional client but she listened while I talked things out and then when I wound down, she'd pull out gems of truth. She kept telling me things that I disagreed with and didn't want to hear and somehow because of her I kept listening and my life is changed. I haven't been to see you professionally for a year now but I've come close to calling several times. Knowing you're there, shining brightly, is a comfort.
Emily is my sister and how we became friends and how her hands came to be on this quilt is a story of wonder. After years of slogging solo, our conversations helped me make sense of and integrate whole chunks of my life and learning at a time. She has a nose for the truth and the guts to ask life-changing questions. My life is bolder, happier, and richer because of you.
Maureen Magnuson, Mary Bertelson, Pam Toffhagen, Charles Pearson
Maureen, Mary, and Pam are from In His Presence prayer group. I've been to see them several times over the last 5 years. Their friendship and spiritual vigor blessed me and my time in the center of their prayers was very powerful and healing. They were extremely discerning. As you shared my suffering I felt understood and among community. Thank you.
Charles and Ruth Pearson were the first people I asked to pray for me in my darkest hours and my trust in them was sound. They prayed for me many times on retreats over years and I found them to be unfailingly honest with an unusual balance of being both adventuresome and grounded. You didn't snuff out my smoldering wick but blew ever so gently on my flame.
Ruth Pearson, Ginger Dunivan, Peggy Lang, Joe Forman
Ginger is my hero. She is also my chiropractor and the most able, curious, persistent healer I have ever met. She was the first hand I sprayed on this quilt and the last name to sign which pretty much describes who she has been in my healing process this decade- the first to come to the party and the last to leave. She never, ever gave up and always had something helpful to offer every week or two for 9 years running. Seriously, who gets a healer like this in their life- someone who adds something to the healing conversation every 7-14 days for 9 years? Not only does she know and do stuff, she teaches me about healing and about myself so I get to know and do stuff, too. I'm guessing that when I look back from some future decade, I will see that you have been one of the most, if not the most, formative mentor of my life.
Pastor Peggy taught me, prayed for me, and inspired me. I came to Restoration Through Prayer heart-broken and told her that I couldn't find my way home spiritually. She prayed for me and I felt understood, honored, and really seen in a church for the first time in a decade. As I drove away, I realized that my prayer had been answered and I had found my way home. Pastor Peggy, your ability to listen deeply and speak wisely has blessed me. Thanks for carrying my stretcher to Jesus.
Joe is my acupuncturist, the photographer who took all the photos of my art in this show, and the president of Forman Karaoke-Puncture, Inc. He makes me laugh every time I see him which is a miracle given some of things I remembered on his table. He says stuff like, "We'll do #7 hold the crazy." and "This is going to hurt one of us and I'm pretty sure it isn't going to be me." I'm laughing while I write this remembering how funny it was, but I'm guessing you'd have to be there to really get it. Which he was- there, I mean, when the really ugly stuff started to surface and I was scared out of my body and wits. Some places just shouldn't be gone to alone. You laughed with me on the way there, stood with me, sat a pale minute with me afterwards, and sent me and my stuff home like you knew I could live large and laughing in it. Like you do.
Emily Haataja, Jen Eck, Linda Mahmarian, Tara Ehnes
Emily, Jen, and Linda are incredible women and we served on a leadership committee together during a difficult season in my life. They saw the best in me and created a safe place for me to risk and fail, be confronted and resolve conflict kindly. I was seen and supported and loved and released. Ladies, you have my abiding respect and affection.
Tara has been my massage person for many years and my yoga teacher for a year and a half. She has been instrumental in creating peace in my body through her strong hands and through her teaching of what she herself lives. When all the wheels were coming off my life, she told me that there would be people there to welcome me on the other side of choosing to be happy and healthy. You not only believed that I could learn yoga but had the skills to start where I actually was and lead me step by step into greater things.
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The people represented on this quilt have come in their season, borne their fruits in my life, and then have gone in the fullness of time. This has felt very sad and lonely to me, even desolate. I have been feeling weary and old, afraid to enjoy this season knowing that it too will end, my hopes will fade, my friends will change. What's the point?
Writing this has changed my perspective. What's really popping for me today is the truth that people and times come and go to be followed by other people and other times. Just the people and times that I need, year after year, unfolding. Healing Circle to Optimal Health Zone to Acorn Chiropractic. MOMS to the Wedge. Mike to Joe. Susan to Lucia to Ginger. Shannon to Open Door to Conversation Circle. Like a flower blooming one layer of petals at a time.
It has been a privilege, all of it. It has been my honor to be with you, every single one of you.
My life, after everything and everything, has been a privilege.